and reality sets in

Remember when I said that I would write in my blog more often with the new year. Surprise surprise...I didn't. Was it because I was busy? Was I just being lazy? Did I just not have anything good enough to put on here? It was a little bit of all of the above. James and I stopped going to the cooking class. Things just got in the way -- work and life. I feel bad. It was kind of my fault we did the 2nd class. Even though the 1st was hard enough to always get to, I insisted we keep going. We both signed up and low and behold by the second class there was a cancellation due to the crazy snow storm we had then the next week James was in upstate New York for work and I was bartending an event. Then the next week the instructor canceled to go to Florida and the following week I was asked to bartend another event. Life just gets in the way sometimes.

Anyway, enough with the excuses. My H.S. track coach always said "Excuses are for people who accomplish nothing". What was his name? Mr. Willams I think? Today I had a damn near nervous breakdown (again) because of baking. I wonder if that happens to anyone else? When I bake I need to have all the ingredients. Sure one or two insignificant ones can be missing but when I'm missing something big (like vanilla extract or the thingys for my electric hand mixer) I throw a hissy fit and act like a 3 year old little girl. I raise my voice, I get annoyed when people try to help, I get even more annoyed when people stop trying to help, and I normally just stomp away and slam a door. Hence what just happened not even a full hour ago. I'm suppose to make a cake and cupcakes for my aunt and uncle's bake sale for their church. I was looking forward to it. I thought I'd have plenty of time and we just moved into our new apartment so I've been dying to try out baking something in the new kitchen. I did not factor in the point that my birthday just passed and some of my friends would talk me into going out. There goes one of my precious days to work on the cake. I also have been filling up my days after work with running/shower/cooking food/unpacking/sleep. There goes another day or two. Then today I was going to start baking the cakes at last. James and I went to the store and got everything we needed. I got home thinking I had my vanilla...nope. I opened up my hand mixer...no stirrer thingys. James tried to help...impossible.

Baking was suppose to be my way of letting go and relaxing. I guess it only works if I have all my ingredients and tools so it can go as smoothly as possible. Hopefully everything will be out of the boxes soon and once everything gets in order I will be able to breathe again. I never knew I was so OCD about this stuff. Tune in the next few days and I will post the picture of what I do (I still need to find my camera). Hopefully things will go better tomorrow when I try again. Until then....just breathe.